Totally Blank !!!

There are days when you can't imagine of anything new... :( You feel restless, bored , frustrated and sad.

Since, many days I am going through that phase. There are no new thoughts in my mind. I can't even complete any stories. I am feeling distracted. And I am, totally blank.

Anyway, updating my blog is what I have to do for my readers, so bought you something which I read somewhere.

22 Signs You're Dating Your Laptop

1. Your first order of business in the morning isn’t checking your phone. Instead, you open your laptop; eyes squinted to stave off the excruciatingly bright light glimmering from the screen, and get into your routine web stops.

2. Even if you’re not looking at inappropriate content, when a nosey person comes up behind you and stares at your screen, you get defensive. It feels a lot like if someone walked in the bathroom and watched your boyfriend/girlfriend get dressed.

3. You take your laptop out in public and realize how filthy the screen is. You didn’t realize it was this bad in your dimly lit home, but suddenly it looks like your laptop went four wheeling. Now then feel ashamed, like a parent who knows people are staring at their kid because he’s covered in grass, dirt and other mysterious brown stains. (SIDENOTE: If Starbucks ever wants to make millions more, they should sell laptop screen friendly wipes since the lighting in their stores always seems to expose every last spot and piece of dust on my screen.)

4. You don’t even look at or consider other laptops because you’re happy with what you have. Going into Best Buy and not so much as glancing at the laptop section is basically like visiting a strip club and not caring to catch a glimpse of a single areola.

5. You know all of your laptop’s abilities and exactly what buttons to push. For example, if you can create this é without Google’ing the terms ‘Beyoncé’ or ‘Pokémon,’ and copy & pasting their special accent marked ‘e,’ you know your laptop like the back of your hand.

6. You know the back of your hand very well, because you constantly see it as you tap away at the keyboard.

7. There is a daily struggle to plug and unplug your laptop from charging. You don’t want a dead laptop, but too much charging is notorious for destroying the battery permanently.

8. You clear your nightstand off so it has space to sleep right next to you. I do this and I wonder if those books and novelty items I’ve just carelessly pushed to the floor are secretly alive Toy Story style, and crushed that they’ve been ruthlessly replaced.

9. Friends have called you out on your inability to hold a conversation with them, because you’re engaged in activities on your laptop. All you respond with is repeated “mmhmms” and “wait, whats?” until they eventually give up on you and your failure to lend them an ear.

10. You do all of the software updates and invest in heavy-duty virus protection long after being in the honeymoon stage with your laptop. See, for the first few weeks or months everyone wants to keep their device in tiptop condition, but eventually they become less enthusiastic about it. Not you though. You’re a dedicated lover who intends to make this

11. The only means of regular communication you have with friends is done via your computer. They can’t get to you without doing so via your beloved piece of technology.

12. You catch yourself condemning others for their choices, as if selecting your laptop makes you a life expert. Pssh! Seriously, a Dell? I mean, she’s good, but I prefer Mariah… Also, your laptop is a piece of shit. What are you rollin’ with, Windows XP on that fossil?

13. You’ve actually uttered the phrase, “I love you,” to your laptop. The context is irrelevant, it doesn’t matter if you were kind of kidding – if you directed those three words at your precious machine, you’re in deep.

14.You use your webcam as a mirror more than you use actual mirrors.

15. You have a phone, iPod, Kindle or other devices linked to your laptop and those are essentially your babies that the two of you carefully take care of.

16. When people ask to use your laptop you may let them, but inside you’re offended as hell. Again, that doesn’t mean there’s anything to hide, but you certainly don’t like seeing your laptop with another guy or gal.

17. You’ve had your laptop with you and actively used it in a room containing 10+ people socializing, with loud music and alcohol in the vicinity. If you were playing the role of DJ or Google’ing something specific to settle a bet, fine — anything else is a tale-tell sign that you’re in a relationship with that laptop.

18. You’ve invested in numerous bags for your laptop. You only want your baby nesting in the finest leather or trendiest products currently out.

19. Using your phone or another device to view desktop versions of websites makes you feel dirty. Almost like cheating because, why wouldn’t you just do it on your trusty, reliable computer?

20. You’ve fallen asleep with an open laptop on or next to you in bed. That means you couldn’t say goodbye, and it literally took your body succumbing to exhaustion to stop your usage  This is the equivalent of two young lovers pulling the “you hang up,” “no, you hang up” bit until one passes out with a phone next to their ear.

21. There are still some of the plastic sheets from the original packaging that the laptop had when you first bought it. The day you realize that you’ve been treating your laptop the same way and old person cares for their couch’s upholstery, you can’t fight the feelings anymore.

22. At this point you can’t fathom the thought of something bad happening to your computer. You can only hope it’d be something easily repairable and not like, a complete malfunction that renders your sweetie useless. Also, referring to your laptop as your “sweetie” feels so right

Can A Broken Heart Be Broken Again?

Yes. It can. Just happened to me.

I’ve been hanging around on I Am Married But Lonely, at first. Looking for support. Looking for help. A cry in the dark. I started to settle into this marvelous community, building a reputation, the usual stuff.

She was on the other side of the door. She caught me! I loved her so much, and I was so broken up, and addled over 13 years of trying my best, all for nothing… We fell deeply in love, wound up making a pregnancy, and decided to make a family. We lost that one, but kept trying and wound up having the most beautiful little girl… I wanted to name her Pebbles she was so gorgeous to me. LOL. We got married, started a family… on the road to happily ever after.

Time went by, there was trouble… Things started getting worse. I posted plenty of stories about that. There was a very bad event that took place that affected everything we had together.

Today it’s complete and total sickness. I’m still madly in love with her, would still to this day take a bullet for her. But I’m not even sure if she has any feelings at all anymore, much less for me. She’s not operating under the same programming she had when we met. She’s like a totally different person now.

I really really need to leave. I gave her final notice, over the holidays. She turned herself around in a snap. Looked better than it ever did before, but it’s still an act. The signs are starting to show it. This marriage was mortally wounded over a year ago, and is failing to respond to any attemts to resuscitate.

But….

As I was poking around the Internet at large, looking for self help, shouting cries for support into the darkness, an answer came. It was someone in a similar situation. She was so sweet, and we wound up helping each other out with support and validation, started to trade secrets, our friendship became closer every day. We started to flirt. Then it got pretty heavy duty.

The next thing I know I find I’ve fallen in love with her. It took me completely by surprise. I couldn’t understand it. I couldn’t help it. The irony here is… She just had the same thing happen with someone else and had just had HER heart broken, right when my love for her hit me like a ton of bricks. Right in the middle of trying to help her get through what she was experiencing. She started to detect something was going on with me… I’m hiding something… she pressed, gently. It didn’t really take any effort. I was ready to explode! I wound up confessing. I knew it was wrong, she needed my support. And what I was doing was making me look like a predator. And she had just been through a rough time with someone else. I felt awful. I began to implode, right before her very eyes. I felt so bad, she felt so helpless.

All of this happened over a span of a few days.

Today we were talking and I was trying to get my legs back. I tried to swing our discussions back to where we were before, talking about my problems, her problems, but it was to no real avail. Little things kept creeping out in my words… I couldn’t proofread them all out, I didn’t catch them all, then they started getting more blunt and obvious. I really have it bad. Later today, I wound up expelling such a ferocious confession of my love for her I couldn’t even believe it as I was writing. I want her mind, body and spirit. I want her in my arms, or to be in hers, crying tears of joy, put a ring on her, watch each other’s kids grow, hold hands as death finally takes one of us from the other. All of that. I really was reeling from the force of what was going on in my heart.

You see, my heart was in shattered pieces already from my failing marriage. It was wilting to almost nothing when she found me. She showed me such kindness. I had a crisis and she was there for me in an instant, virtually holding my hand while I shook with the fever of love going horribly wrong right in my face. That little act of empathy started a loyal friendship that snowballed so fast it was unstoppable for me.

She’s not able to return those feelings. She’s just been double-whammied by her own recent events. I totally understand where she’s at. I try to get myself under control, I tried to shut up, she told me it was okay and I should be honest. I got pulled back in and every time I speak to her it’s like I keep falling deeper in love with her. I told her I would give up anything just to keep her in my heart, even if just friendship is all she can offer, I understand, I’ll try… But if she were to ask me to say goodbye I would be crushed.

Things kept going on between us… I got more tragically fallen for her while she helplessly watched me do it. I tried to cling to something, I started talking TOTALLY off-topic, and she responded, but we were multi-threading about this thing going on inside me, too. I wound up having a panic attack. While we were messaging each other. I managed to pull myself together. I did my best.

Se felt so bad, and I felt so guilty.

Finally she sent me a message telling me maybe it would be better off if we stopped talking to each other so I could forget her.

Yes. A broken heart can still be broken.

UPDATE

There is some good news.
This lady and I – I told her “OMFG” in my reply and went into shock. I wrote the posting above. I was at work – and my boss turned up while I was sitting there all shattered, and we had some product engineering to do. It took my last hour of the day. I was dying inside but had to keep my pro-face on and it anchored me a little. When I stepped out to go home, there were a string of frantic messages from her, thinking I’d decided to vanish without a trace in a fury. I tapped a reply that it was nothing like that, but after I had settled down, I realised she was right. I had no right to force her to watch me falling to pieces for my one-sided love, she’s got troubles, too. We’re both in a bad way right now. Back and forth a few times … I didn’t want to lose her, but I couldn’t see how it would be good to go on. I know she agrees.

But the bond of friendship had grown to agape for both of us. She said she wanted to keep in touch as before, even though it was selfish. I totally understand. I feel the same way. But we’ve weathered some tough stuff with each other’s aid – in only a couple of weeks! -and have grown to depend on each other’s compassion. Her support system has shrunk recently, and mine, well – she’s all I have. Besides a few other well-wishers on EP.

So we’re going to continue as before. But it’s colored a bit now. I confessed strong feelings I have no business developing, we barely know each other. It’s going to be painful for both of us to stay in touch. But luckily we were already smart enough to draw some good boundaries before, so we can depend on them to keep things from getting out of hand. And there’s time now… it will be a guilt trip for her and tragic for me, but in time one or the other of us is bound to change. Perhaps my heart will forget her name and stop whispering it to me in my dreams, or perhaps hers will start beating for me. I doubt it. But who knows? Either way it’s going to be okay sooner or later.

For now, all I can say is “I still love you more than I have right to or deserve…  my Dream Girl.”

#COPIED.

The Diary of a Love-struck

For many days, I have been thinking of a real topic on which I could write my heart out. And here's what I got from a diary of a love-struck-girl. I know it is a bad thing reading someone's personal diary but I accidentally stumbled across her diary and got a good experience on love, from her eyes.

The remarkable things were, the way she wrote it. The diary didn't carry anything on her daily routine. There was nothing about their conversation but this time it was little different. She took small small instances which made her feel really special about that moments or which made her feel guilty on that situations or the moments where she cried her eyes out. The way she expressed her feeling for every moment made me live those moments in her words. I get caught in her words. The words were so real that if I was there that time, I would have felt the same.

Some of the moments I would like to share which I read in her diary.

Something Direct From Heart 

There are many things you learn when you fall in love. You learn to share yourself  with someone who was just  a stranger until yesterday, you believe in love, you learn to love ; you learn to give love and receive it in return. Being loved is a very big thing. It gives you sheer happiness. A hope or a surety that, Yes, you have someone to count on in this mean world. Someone you can call yours. That "I love you too" text makes your day. Love makes you responsible, loyal, dedicated, honest, caring....it makes you an able person and most importantly it makes you a loving person. You have someone to hold you, and hold you until they can! And if they cannot they will be with you in any condition. Remembering small small things about the person you love is also kind of sweet and when they remember things about you, it makes you extremely satisfied. Love makes you feel you are safe in someone's arms. It makes you a better person. That's what love is. A very small word but when comes into your life teaches you many big things.



And the day I just wanted to hate him From The Core of my Heart :'(


"I am on leave. So, I would request you if I can stay in peace for some days."

Am I someone who is creating chaos in his life and destroying his peace?? Do my talks irritate him and bore him to death?? Do I always blame or complains??

 I didn't sleep the whole night. These thoughts were wandering in my mind. I was feeling suffocated, these questions were suffocating me to death. 

After all this, one thought which was constantly disturbing me was, " Do I deserve this kind of behavior ?" Of all that love I do, I get to hear is I didn't let him stay in peace. This message from him is captive in my mind from the time he sent it and I can't let it go. It is hurting me, my head is aching since morning, I am feeling restless, I am feeling tired now and the misery is not going.
Maybe I am over-thinking. Maybe I am someone to blame here. I am just feeling like a loser.

I love him, I love him a lot. And because of all this, we are just losing the happy days in our life, which we will regret later. Like this, I can't stay. I am just losing my charm to live life. I am losing myself.

.................................

Ummm....! So isn't it the same feeling we get when we are in such situations ?? In love, every girl thinks from her heart. And they are kind of very emotional and sensitive to every bullshit. So, the post is dedicated to every lover who is reading this. :)


REMEMBER THIS :-

"When you get a little love, you want more.

And when you don't, the little love was very much."

P.S :- Love is not really as complicated as people make it. In fact, it's not complicated at all. Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.

Remembering You

This poem I wrote during my first and the most painful breakup. Break-up times are the worst, you don't want to think about them but still they are the one you miss the most.
Those were the toughest days of my life, and all I can now remember is pain through which I went. 

What I’ve done to my life?I always sit with a knife.

Sometimes I cry, Sometimes I weep,
Sometimes I just think about him.

I do all sorts of things which are bad,
But then it makes me feel sad.

Still remember the days when he was with me,
But can’t understand why he left me.

I am all alone in this land,
Can’t he give me his hand ??

My every action reminds me what he used to say,
But it also reminds me, he has gone away.

I remember his laugh… His grace,
And the dimples on his face.

Friends say, I am stupid to cry for him.
But what do I do when I miss him??

I reminisce the day when he held me tight,
But now I am lonely tonight.

I remember the way he used to talk,
And the way he used to walk.

I remember the phone calls which were so long,
Can’t understand how everything went wrong.

I remember the way he expressed his love,
And expected me to say three words.

I remember the time that runs so fast,
The love that moves its past.

He said he will leave me never,
Now I think he is  gone forever.

I want them all-1

As people say "Sunday-Funday" , but I don't see any speciality in Sunday except I can only sleep a few hours more. That is because when you have parents, who are working for six days like a pig, they just want Sunday to spend at home, watching "THE CHATTER BOX" & Sleeping.

So, basically what I did today is I randomly went through the Facebook pages where I saw "Pretty Girly junks." They all were so cute. It was tempting. I just couldn't resist myself, I wanted them all. <3 nbsp="">

So, I thought to share it with all those girls who visit my blog and give a treat to their eyes. :P 

So girls e-xclusively for all of you. *Wink-Wink*

A girl should be two things Classy & Fabulous.  - Coco Chanel

Dresses that make you just like WoWW....

Unique and Awesome Necklaces.

Incomplete without My big Cool Funky Rings.

Love to wear them.

I don't know who invented H i g h h e e l s, But all women owe him a lot. 
- Marilyn Monroe 

They are just my favorite, and I own a lot of them and they are just always Adorable.

Always Comfortable and Adorable. <3 nbsp="">

As said in the movie, "Confession of a Shopaholic", "Because when I shop, the world gets better." :D

I wish I own them all, one day. :)