Light A Candle For A Change.

The Delhi "Gang-Rape case" ,shook the whole nation and somewhere touched every Indian. I don't know who the girl was; Nirbhaya, Vedanta, Damini, Aamanat whoever she was, but somewhere she is connected to me, to every girl here. She is now taken as India's daughter, sister and what not. The incident jolted citizens conscience.

Since 16th December she is the prime attention of the whole nation. She was truly a fighter, and fought the grimmest battle of her life. The pain, the torture given by the 6 incubus, she tried to overcome it. She wanted to live, but she couldn't. And another story comes to an end!

But this does not end here...

Hanged till death, chemical castration, beaten by stone, make them go through the same torture she went through are the toughest punishment demanded by the protester for the demons. Anyhow these criminals will go through some or the other punishment. But what about the other malignant spirits sitting behind the curtains?? Were they arrested and tried  in a court law for extreme depravity and outgoing the modesty of the women?? What about these ill-fated women who have gone through the same pain but nobody raised their voices for them??

Who will punish them?? Who will give insaaf to these victims??

After Damini's rape case, 21 rape cases took place all over India in just 16 days. Isn't it shameful ?? The nation which talks about Women Empowerment and gives "Barabar ka hakk" to women are facing such shameful cases. Who will protest for them??

Cry India! Your hand is drenched with the blood of your daughter. 

Protesting for such a cause is good, but don't forget what the "cause" is for. Changing profile pictures or lighting a candle will not help. Change yourself! It's not about one woman, it's about all those women who go through such horrific situations. Stand for them too! Damini binded the whole nation together. Now make the bond as strong as you can. 

"Ab uski maut ko waste na jane do."

Take the reason of her death seriously and kill all those demons of the nation who are desecrating our society, who are continuously profaning our women. Make India a safe nation to breathe. Don't put restriction and barriers on women, instead put chains on your rotten thinking. Government must bring unrivaled protection for women. This is not the first time or last time we are listening such stories, most stories are left untold.The 24,000-odd who were raped and devastated both physically and mentally last year alone too were a daughter, a sister or wife to someone. Protection of women should be now vital duty of the nation. Damini's plight had led to a demand greater protection from sexual violence that impacts thousand of women daily in India. Police must arrest accused, irrespective of who he is and his connection. And the judiciary must fast track every rape case for speedy justice to the victim.

Our cities will be safer when we acknowledge women as citizens. In the first place all the common people must take a pledge on what they can do individually in making our cities and towns safer. Pledge your role in making your city safe. First change yourself, then only you can change your society. We need to fix the system, neither the government nor the police are taking any steps in improving the situations. India demands change, and the change is in your hand.

Growing up

I am having a real bad days. And in the end, it left me amazed at how things change, how people change. How pathetic we human are and how worst we can get. How the people you once proudly called your friends are now the ones who make your life difficult. In this cruel world, sweet words are not guarantees, big hugs are not bonds. Behind the curtains, there is a big bad world. There are people who are looking forward to an opportunity to bring you down. I realized that i am surrounded by diplomats. People aren't as sweet as their words. Life isn't as simple as it appears to be. The person for whom you care the most are the ones who backstab you in very sweet way. And they have a very refine and generous reason for it. If you do the same then you are not a "true friend". And the best way to take revenge is to delete them from facebook id. And this immature thinking is called "growing up".
                               
When you try and care for someone, they called it interference. When you voice your opinion, you are mocked. There is no solution to this. The only way is to accept things the way they are. And above all the only person here blamed is YOU. And ultimately all this things frustrate me so much that I also start developing some of its traits. Now my thinking about my best friend have taken a wrong turn. I have become mean in my life. The only things in my mind are how to let them down. And this is not at all normal for a person like me, who have always been good to people in any situation. I am not very much extrovert about my feelings and so I am feeling helpless to share it with anyone. It is eating me up from inside.

It is on days like this I hate being grown up. Things were just so simple back then. Our friends were ours. Nobody knew what backstabbing meant. Competition was never a part of friendship. Fights never lasted for more than an hour. All it took a handshake to set things right. There were no diplomacy, no argument, no backstabbing. We were what we were and other people opinion were never a problem. And all this while I thought growing up would be fun. But this shit was never expected. 

As we grow up, we think we know too much. Competition ruins friendships. People hold grudges for their lifetime, their egos don't allow them to apologize. Now everything I see, I feel creates doubt in my mind. People whom I use to admire are now the people I hate somewhere. Still I mingle with them, try to be nice to them on face. Somewhere I try to exploit my every friend. And this is what I have become. I feel bad about my condition, I feel pity on myself. Although I don't want the child inside me to die. I want to be free from all prejudice. I want all that sweet innocence which knows no lies, no cheating and enjoyed the little things in life. I want to let go everything, every consequences, the bad worlds who is judging my every step. I want to be the person I thought I will be. Not what people want me to be. For me, THAT IS LIFE!! Trying to find happiness in little things, and big things not even matter anymore.
               'If growing up means it would be beneath my dignity to do what I love, I'll never grow up, never grow up never grow up! Not me!'

I CAN RELATE THIS TO ME

Before you can grow up, you must fall in love three times.

Once, you must fall in love with your best friend, ruining your friendship forever. ♥

This will teach you who your true friends are, and the fine line between friendship and more. ♥

Once you must fall in love with someone you believe is perfect.

You will learn that no one is perfect, and that you should never be treated as anything less than you deserve. ♥

And once, you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you.

This will teach you about who you are, and who you want to be.

And when you’re through with all that, you learn that the people who care about you the most are the ones that you hurt, And the ones that hurt you are the ones that needed you the most. ♥

But most of all, you learn that love is only a concept and is not something that can be defined, It is different to each and every person on this earth, knowing that everyone wants to be loved. ♥ :)

# COPIED.

POSSESSIVENESS

Possessiveness. One of the greatest problems of today's relation; that is bound to face everybody who is travelling the path of love and attachment. Becoming over possessive can turn a once happy, loving relationship based on fear, jealousy and control. There is nothing worse than this that you can do, that you are capable of reducing a being to a thing, and that's what possession is. Only things can be possessed; being cannot be possessed. 

Have you ever been somewhere that is so hot you want to rip your clothes off? You can't wait to get cool. It is stifling. The sweat is pouring down to you. You burn from inside. You want to scream - and then - Ahhh, yes - a cool lake swims. What a bliss to get free of the heat.

Well that's exactly how the one you possess feels. You are stifling your partner and they cannot wait to fling you away. You try to possess - it is naturally impossible, it cannot happen. Then there is misery. The more you try to possess a person, the more that person tries to become independent of you, because every person has a birthright to be free, to be himself or herself. You are trespassing on the privacy of a person. If you love a person you will never trespass. You will never try to be a detective, peeping into the privacy of other person. You will respect the privacy of other person.

Some people think, being possessive means being in love. But, Possessiveness, is a false love. Love means that you are ready to merge yourself into other. It is a death, the deepest death possible in which you can fall, and go on falling and falling. And there is no end to it, there is no bottom to it, it is an eternal falling into other. It never ends. To love means other has become so significant that you can lose yourself. Love is surrender - unconditional; because if there is even a single condition then you are important, not the other. And if you are important then why to get possess? 

But look at the so called lovers - Boyfriends and Girlfriends. All they are doing, around the clock, is finding ways to trespass, to enter into the private world of other person. They don't want the other person to have any privacy. Why? If the person has independence, privacy, individuality, they are afraid. The person tomorrow may not love them - because love is not something stagnant. So they just want to know everything about their partner so that they can hold this person permanently in his captivity. In this process, you won't get love. You cannot get love from a slave.

You can't own the person. Like some antique art - something to admire, something only they have, and no one else shall have it. Best ways to remove possessiveness is, Ask yourself why are you possessive? Put some thought into it. Maybe it is because a person or something which happened to you in the past. When you start feeling the twinges of jealousy or possessiveness, remind yourself that your partner loves you, and is committed to you and respects you. One of the best ways to beat possessiveness is to talk to your partner. Share your insecurities and ask them to help you overcome your problems.

Stop controlling the other person. Once you stop controlling the other person, you'll have a better relationship. Let them do their own thing without nagging and questioning them whole time. Looking through the phone messages of someone you love is not a acceptable  behavior. 

If you are possessed you lost your very soul. Possessiveness is called a kind of love but it's not love. It is fear, not love. It is adjustment, not love. It is compromise, not love. It can be anything, but not love. Don't compromise with your interests, friends, ambitions just to appease your partner. This will result in you being miserable. You must explain your partner that you need your own life back.

Love is meant to be free, you can't change its nature. If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings.

Sounds such a simple perspective, but how difficult to internalize! I have seen relationships collapse due to possessiveness overdrive. Treat the person the way you want them to treat you. Love like joy and cheer is meant to be shared and isn't limited like a piece of cake. Still, we feel as if we own the person and haggle for our share, how strange!

Does she deserve your Tears?

So here this post is on special demand, related to my earlier post "Does he deserve your tears?". As one of my guy friend found it too feminist, so he requested me to write from a guy's point of view also. Opinion will always differ but I have observed this to be pretty true.

Yes so it does hurt guys as much as it hurts a girl. We girl thinks that only we have emotions, but guys are weaker when it comes to emotions! They can't bear the pain of breakup as well. And if girls think guys don't cry when they have broken up, they are extremely wrong. I have seen guys crying badly in front of me for the girl they love. But same question arises for you to, "Does she deserve your tears??".

The answer is NO. I know the frustrations and the pain of losing her is ruining your life. She was the one you thought, will be with you all your lifetime. You made it very clear in your mind, that you will stick with that one girl only. You have seen a wonderful future with her. But now when she is out of your life and she doesn't feel the same for you, why don't you just let it go!

I know it is not easy and one of the most painful things I am telling you do. How can one forget all the memories and happy time spent with his lover. But every break up has a reason, may be the reason is for your good only. Try to understand that reason rather than crying over things. Take it practically. You are a man, you need to be strong. Crying is not your cup of tea, keep it for girls only!

If the girl doesn't love you now, it is not your fault. It is her fault. So why are you going through all the pain? Be happy that you were true in your relationship, and it hasn't ended from your side. Guys approach towards breakup is entirely different from that of girls. 


Girls cry, tell every single person about their break up, gain sympathy. On the other hand, Guys enjoy the initial period of break up. They feel happy and free. They just drink, smoke, "bitch" about their ex-partner in cheap Hindi Gallis. This goes for a week or so and eventually they come to know, this is not going to work. And the period of frustrations begins, where they drink to forget the pain of break up, they smoke, maybe go on drugs too, because that is the Indian mentality on break up. Make yourself as vulnerable as you can!


As the week passes they know even this is not going to work, so they start trying on their ex-partner again.

I have seen guys become stubborn at this point. They anyhow want their ex-partner to return to them. They forget all the love, all the respect, and they keep stalking their ex-partner. And if she is with some other guys they can't see it and try all possible ways to efface that guy from her life. Why do you care? Now when you are separated, let her live her life. Just because you can't live your life happily that doesn't mean you won't let others live. Why does a girl matter you this much? You have been single since your childhood! Can't you be single now?


You are just being desperate about love. And remember this, love and girls never come to desperate guys! "GET A LIFE, DUDE!". At some or the other point you will get someone who will love you completely, and maybe your ex-partner was not the one! Try to understand it. Don't let a breakup make you weak, instead it should make you a better person.


Do things which are adventurous. Now when you are single you have all the time to spend with you. Why don't you utilize it in doing something you like. Break up gives you a new life. Try to build your new life with new happiness, live it for yourself! Besides, you also have license to date any girl now. So, go date a girl, this is the best way to make your ex-partner feel jealous. And believe me someday you will get that girl who will give you the awesome feeling of love. Till then keep going with your life. (:

Does he deserve your Tears?

Yes, Break up do hurt. And crying in pain is a normal thing. When you break up, your whole identity is shattered. It's like death. The grief and sadness caused by a break up can seem absolutely overwhelming and make you feel like you will never get over the pain. But do you think a person who left you in the half path deserve your tears?

I mean yeah, it almost seems unimaginable to stop thinking about your ex-partner and all the things you have done together. The history, memories and the times shared refused to escape your mind after a break up. But is crying is a solution to your problem? More you cry, more you make it hard for yourself. And why to cry for a person who is not there to wipe off your tears??

Love doesn't hurt, its the memories that hurt you. You give so much importance to that one person in your life that basically you start living a life they want. But now when you are alone why can't you live it for yourself? If someone stops liking you, you can do nothing about that. So better to live with Pride. Make him realize you are better without him. 

Move on is the only option you have! Move on doesn't mean to get commit to other person. But at least try to get commit with your life now. If you don't care about yourself, nobody will. The first thing everyone should learn is to love themselves deeply. Now when you are single, it is just your life. No sharing you have to do with anyone. That means, you can live the way you want! Isn't it great?? Whatever has transpired in the past has happened, but the future after the break up is in your hands.

You, yourself makes things difficult. You know what makes you happy, still you like your vulnerable condition. And I don't know why do people like crying all the time. You have spent some cherished moments with him. Why don't you remember that?? Rather than being sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours. Things are never hard to do, we make them complicated. Yes, the memories never go but it fades as the time passes.

Make yourself so strong that nothing related to him affects you. Not even his NAME! For you love hasn't gone,it was he who left the love and went away, then why are you affected by his name or whatever he do?? If it is really his fault, he will ping you all his life just to see your reactions. This should only make you happy that he is still running behind you. The reason he is doing this is that  he wants to do friendship again and settle every matter and make you clear his reasons or else he might be somewhere guilty for his doing. I know forgiving him is not easy. But I would advise, you have to forgive to forget, and forget, to feel again. You can't sit all your life with the pain. It will take time but eventually you will move on!

Sometimes you realize the breakup may have been for the better, but many times you didn't even want the break up to happen in the first place. But love doesn't come with guarantee and warranty. And you can do nothing if the person fell out of love. It could be you also. Just because it is you who is suffering, you feel like Saint! 

I am here to tell you that the situation will work itself out. In time, you will either end up moving on, or get back with your ex-partner. It is certainly not easy, but I promise one of the two will happen! Your broken heart may take time to heal, but you will never get through it without your Friends! So talk to them, do things which make you happy, keep yourself busy, be happy and do fall in love again. Give a chance to love! There is always a second chance in life! Why to cry for a moron, when you can laugh with a real man?! (:

URBAN MELODRAMA

Can you leave your love for your best friend ??

Today I watched Cocktail,it follows a basic Bollywood genre-geometry of a love triangle. The story is about a compulsive flirt  Gautam (Saif Ali Khan) who gets into a no-strings-attached relationship with the hot-n-happening Veronica(Deepika Padukone) . To cover up his live-in with Veronica, girl-next-door Meera (Diana Penty) is literally the girl Gautam takes home to his mother. The guy is commitment-phobic until he meets up his match and realizes what 'true love' is. His heart start fluttering for Meera.


So here Gautam and Veronica just hit it off in two scenes. So do Gautam and Meera and if it wasn't the kiss at interval point, one wouldn't know Cupid has cross connected it. So the melodrama started between the love triangle and its ends with one has to sacrifice for the sake of friendship and love. Evidently you know which girl would win in the end. Basically, Cocktail, is a same prose with new grammar.
Eventually my question still remains same 'Can you leave your love for your best friend?'

 My answer is NO!! I mean why would my best friend will try to hit on my Boyfriend? In India, love means commitment. A serious commitment. And dedications. Love is a sensation based on physical and emotional attraction. For girls love is trust, loyalty, honesty, commitment, care, happiness, attachment, responsibilities, possessiveness, jealousy, insecurities, pain, frustrations....and what not! So sharing and compromising with her love is not in her 'love' dictionary. When she falls into a relationship the first thing they do is call her best friends and narrate all the story since they have met to her proposal....everything,every single detail she give about her boyfriend and her relationship to her best friend! Somewhere her best friend has also become a part of her relationship. Her intentions in involving her friend is that whenever she feels low she can seek support from her friend. And when she is hurt her friend can go and fire up her boyfriend,making him realize his mistakes. Same happens with all the girls and even me. After seeing the movie the first thought came to my mind was "If that super best friend of mine is longing for my BF,will I give my love to her so smoothly?" And the second thought that rush to my mind was "I will give death to her." :P

 I will be fighting with her  "The Battle of Love"....and I will try all possible ways to sweep her off. A great friend will eventually turn into a greater foe. Besides, If my boyfriend is also interested in her, both are going to die the same death! Yes, I sound like a bitch. But when it comes to my things "I am a follower of SATAN"..... :D
I was always loyal to my boyfriend and I will try to invest all my love for him. But I can't see him happy with other girl. If breakup takes place due to another reason I will still be happy somewhere but If it take place due to my Best Friend...a feeling of revenge will always be there. And the frustration that will eat up my mind will make me perform all the sins I have never committed. And the rest is 'history'.


So yes the movie portrayed a great friendship but what it ended with, was not  critically accepted. It never happens and such thing will never take place in India where people are so obsessive about their emotions. Things are not so easy in real life as they show in reel life. I appreciate the concept of the movie, but two girls never compromise for the person they love.

TRUTH ABOUT MEN

When it comes to men you have to first acknowledge that all men are different. But according to me, at some or the other point, all of them are somewhat same. Men are more afraid of being lonely. So, what makes a man fall in love ? I'll tell you.

                      

A man falls in love with you because he knows he can be himself around you. He falls in love with you because he feels safe expressing his innermost, private feelings with you. And because he senses that at the most unconscious level, he starts to long for your company, for your touch, for your affection. He may not even know why he feels this way.

Well, according to me lets characterize them into three simple categories :

                          

The first category, a man with iron shield behavior. Hmm...too caring, too possessive !! Usually with a narrow minded thinking, a male chauvinist ! They feel that we are all just looking for a man to take care of us like a baby and so we are going to bow down and make everything easy for them. To make him happy, you just need to be his girl all the time. Too outgoing girls, he don't like. Yeah, if you're bad he can't see it. You can do no wrong. And if you did, there need to be a "reason" for your every actions. Hence only few

percent of total girls can stand up to their expectations. And those few percent hardly exist.

Then comes the confused ones. Dealing with them is hell tough! They fall in love because we are sweet to him, and kind, and giving. ESPECIALLY giving. So we do things for him. We cook lovely meals. We light candles. We put on our sexiest clothes. And still he tells us that he's not sure how he feels. Or he became distant and moody. Or he does something very hurtful. And his patent way to end up relationship is.."We're not 'meant' to be together". The man goes along with dating and even enters the beginnings of a committed relationship, but then suddenly, without warning, he admits he was never that into you.

Bye- Bye !

Puff ! It Ends.

Last but not the least, the Casanova types or the players! There big advantage is their cute looks, charming personality. Actually these men changes their mannerism, speech, style and personality from woman to woman. These men just think from their dick. They target on "easy" women. Easy women find themselves played because that's what a player enjoys most. The freedom and the ability to go play. They don't waste time on women who "play hard to get". Ultimately there main aim is to chase the hottest girls, to gain popularity between friends. They linger with them, to meet their sexual needs and after that either they dumb the girl or they get dumped. But eventually whoever dumb, they will every time pretend as if they have dumb. 

You must understand that a lot of men thinks that women are simple creatures. But a man would have a much harder time understanding women than women have understanding men. The main point I would like to make to women is never drive yourself crazy trying to understand a man. Realize that how to date men requires being on there level of communication. Remember their a lot of guys out there, don't waste your time and energy on someone who obviously doesn't deserve.

So, what girls are like? What are their types? That'll be my next post. (: